Life Is But a Dream
by bloodymarie21
Summary: (Complete) Fawks and Sessho-maru live a happy life surrounded by their children. But a violent act of revenge causes Fawks to become unhinged. As her nightmare get more vivid, she begins to wonder if her perfect life with the man she loves is even real.
1. Happily Ever After?

Fawks cried out as pain ripped through the bottom half of her body. She doubled over, her hands gently cupping her swollen belly. Something hot and wet ran down the insides of her thighs. Her eyes widened with horror as she saw the puddle of blood at her feet.

"…No…My baby…" she gasped.

"My lady!"

"Oh my god, what's happened?!"

One of the maid's caught her as she fell, several more helped her into her room, laying her down on the futon.

"Please, my lady, just lay still! We'll do all we can to help the child" the mid-wife cooed, brushing her sweat soaked bangs away from her face.

The air was thick with scent of blood and Fawks began to feel dizzy, "…My…baby…please don't…let her die…"

Fawks sat up in bed, her breath coming out in shallow pants. Sunlight streamed into the room, bringing her back to reality, she gave a relieved sigh.

"Fawks-sama? Are you alright in there?" a maid called at her door.

"…fine…just fine…where is Yuki-chan?" Fawks called back, changing into her formal robes.

"Outside playing with Kanaye-kun and Ginjiro…"

"…and my lord husband?"

"Lord Sessho-maru is in the study"

"Thank you…" she called back. She knew Sessho-maru would not approve of her thanking servants but he also knew she grew up in a time where common courtesy was extended to everyone.

Just the thought of her mate made her heart beat out of rhythm and her nether regions throb. It had been so long since they had had sex let alone slept in the same bed. After their newest pup had been born premature, Fawks had spent all of her time caring for the baby, nursing her back to health.

Sessho-maru had understood and given her the space she needed, but their pup was well now. There was no need for her sequester herself any longer. A devilish grin caught her lips, she wouldn't let such a chance slip by.

Fawks found Sessho-maru in the study just as the maid had said, she paused in the doorway observing the unearthly beauty that was her mate. Sunlight glistened off of his silver hair, his golden eyes were currently scanning a scroll open on the low table.

"Good morning, Fawks-chan, did you sleep well?" he asked without turning. Fawks smiled softly, kneeling behind him, she wrapped her arms around his prone from. A soft growl reverberated through his back, almost like a purr.

"…I missed you" she whispered into his elven ear.

"You do realize I'm busy at the moment?" Sessho-maru asked as she pressed her breasts insistently into his back.

"It can wait…but I can't…" Fawks purred nibbling on his ear. Sessho-maru growled, their lips met in heated passion as he laid her on the desk. Her fingers threaded through his silver mane. Fawks gasped as Sessho-maru slipped a hand underneath her yukata, spreading her thighs.

"…you're practically dripping, Fawks-chan" Sessho-maru growled as he teased her feminine cleft with his fingers.

"…mmm…Sessh-kun…more…!" Fawks gasped, tossing her head back as he ran his tongue over her throat. Removing his hand, Sessho-maru began to loosen this hakamas, Fawks purred in anticipation.

"MAMA!"

The mood was ruined by the twin call and the sound of feet scampering down the hall toward them. Sessho-maru pulled Fawks up into a sitting position before adjusting his own clothing. The door flew open a split second later framing the two twin boys each had pale red hair and alternating gold and green eyes. One red stripe graced each of their cheeks and a blue crescent sat proudly on their foreheads.

"Ginjiro! Kanaye! You know you two aren't supposed to be in here!" Fawks began, still in the process of readjusting herself.

"We know…" Kanaye began.

"…but Yuki started crying for you…" Ginjiro whimpered. A small girl peeked around the doorway at them, her big golden eyes wet with tears.

"Oh, Yukinatsu…" Fawks sighed reaching to pick her up. "You two didn't play too rough with her, did you?"

"Nah-uh!" Kanaye began, looking offended.

"We were super gentle, just like you told us!" Ginjiro affirmed.

"Is something the matter?" Sessho-maru asked, coming over to them.

"…She's got a bit of a fever…" Fawks began, smoothing back the child's silver curls.

"Yuki's sick?!"

"I'm afraid so, boys. Looks like you'll have to carry on without her" Fawks nodded.

"…Was it something…we did…?" Ginjiro whimpered, tears springing to his multicolored eyes.

"Of course not, baby. You know Yuki was born very weak…" Fawks began, patting the boy's head. The twins exchanged anxious looks.

"There is no need for you to worry, my sons. Trust in your mother's ability to care for your sister and all will be well" Sessho-maru added.

"Yes father" the boys said in unison.

"C'mon, Gin, let's go pick some flowers for Yuki to make her feel better!" Kanaye began as the two dashed from the room.

"…Your mother's flower garden…" Fawks began.

"It is of no consequence. Where is Tensei?" Sessho-maru asked, pressing a hand to the pup's hot forehead.

"Still in her lessons and Sensuke is sparing in the training hall" Fawks replied.

"Hn…it seems we'll have to continue our previous 'discussion' at a later date" he sighed. "You do understand that once our daughter is well, I fully intend on ravishing you until I am satisfied"

"…Of course, my lord" she giggled as he kissed her cheek.


	2. In-Laws

"Mother!"

Fawks paused, turning as the younger girl bounded up to her.

"Oh, Tensei, have you finished your lessons?"

"Yes, Kana-kun and Gin-chan told me Yuki wasn't feeling so well" the girl began, her golden-green eyes wide with worry.

"She's just got a bit of a fever. I just laid her down for a nap…"

"I can watch her if you are busy, mother!"

"Could you? I'm just running to the kitchen to see if I can get her something to eat" Fawks smiled, smoothing aside the girl's strawberry blonde hair.

"I know father must be disappointed, this was the first time you've been alone since Yuki was born since you had to constantly watch her…" Tensei whispered.

"It's fine, Ten-chan!" Fawks blushed.

"…Oh…you two were right in the middle of it when…" The younger girl began.

"Tensei!" Fawks cried. The girl laughed, dashing down the hallway.

"Girls your age shouldn't know about things like that!"

"She takes after you, you know"

Fawks glanced up at the teenage boy, his long silver hair in a ponytail and golden eyes so much like his father's.

"Oh Sensuke…" she smiled.

"Good day, mother, I hope you are faring well" He bowed.

"I swear, you and your father grow more alike as time wears on…" Fawks sighed pinching his cheek.

"…I'm no longer a child, mother…" Sensuke began, flustered.

"But you're still **my** child and you're not fooling anyone when you pretend you don't like it when I pay you attention" she winked.

"…Mother…" he gave a small smile, following her down the hallway. "I heard Yukinatsu has fallen ill again…"

"Mm, it can't be helped, she can't handle so much activity…" Fawks sighed.

"She hasn't overcome her weak constitution yet?"

"Yuki was born a lot earlier then she should have been, she may never have the same resilience as a normal demon…"

"I've made you worry…" Sensuke began.

"Now don't make that face! It's a mother's job to worry about her children, I still worry about you and Tensei"

"You are a very good mother. You always took such good care of all of us, I can only hope to marry a woman as loving as you" Sensuke bowed his head.

"Oi oi! Sixteen is a bit early to be thinking about marriage…" Fawks blushed.

"You started having intimate relations with father when you were but sixteen…" Sensuke stated matter-of-factly.

"…This and that are…Who…told you that anyway?!" Fawks cried, her face a dark shade of crimson.

"Father did. It was his idea that I start looking for a suitable mate"

"Oi! I'm your mother and I say you're too young to be mating with anybody!" Fawks crossed her arms in front of her chest. "If your father disagrees with that, he can come talk to me!"

"Heh, I doubt he would. After all, you are the only one he truly fears" Sensuke chuckled.

"Hmph…as it should be…" Fawks nodded.

"Hmm, well it seems I'm in luck since I've caught you in between pregnancies" Lady Sachiko smiled coldly.

"Sachiko-san, always a pleasure…" Fawks said with a stiff smile.

"Welcome grandmother…" Tensei smiled awkwardly.

"So the pup as taken ill again?" She noted kneeling at Yukinatsu's bedside.

"I'm afraid so…" Fawks sighed as Tensei placed a wet rag against the child's forehead.

"…It's not so bad this time, though. She should be better soon" Tensei smiled.

"Hmph, you proved to be a better mother then I first thought" Sachiko smirked at Fawks.

"Gee, and here I thought my maternal instincts were the whole reason you let me marry Sessho-maru" Fawks smirked back.

"I let you marry my son because I believed wholeheartedly in your ability to bare many children. You do not disappoint"

"…Thanks…"

"Where is Sessho-maru by the way? Doesn't he usually dote on all his pups?"

"Father's off training with big brother. They left a little while ago" Tensei replied.

"Hmm…perhaps we can talk…in a more private setting…" Sachiko began. Fawks' eyes narrowed.

"Tensei, could please watch your sister while I discuss some things with Lady Sachiko?" she smiled.

"Of course" the younger girl nodded.


	3. The Truth

"You are well aware that in taking you as his mate, Sessho-maru broke off a previous engagement his father had arranged when he was but a pup" Sachiko began once the two were alone.

"I am aware…" Fawks nodded.

"It was quite a foolish move. The marriage had been arranged in order to settle a feud between our family and another Inu-youkai clan. Sessho-maru almost started a war over you…" Sachiko smirked.

"Is there some point to you telling me this?" Fawks raised an eyebrow.

"That same clan has redirected their hatred towards you. I have heard whispers on the wind that they intend to make their move very soon"

"But why now? I've been Sessho-maru's mate for over sixteen years…" Fawks began.

"Hm, so Sessho-maru's kept it hidden that well, has he? This won't be the first attempt they've made on your life…" Sachiko went on.

"Eh?" Fawks began. Sachiko turned from her so the she couldn't read her expression.

"They weren't of any consequence. Sessho-maru managed to kill any and every assassin they sent. It was the last assassination attempt that pushed him over the edge…"

"I don't understand…" Fawks said slowly.

"…That time they tried poison…" Sachiko glanced back at her, "Haven't you ever wondered why you went into labor when Yukinatsu herself wasn't ready to be born?"

Fawks' hand flew to her mouth, tears flooding her eyes.

"Poison, of course, has no effect on a fire demon like you. Even Yuki was protected in some small way because the venom she inherited from her father counteracted the toxin somewhat…"

"…I'll kill them…how could they…" Fawks gasped in rage.

"There's no need for that, dear…" Sachiko sighed, taking the younger woman's face in her hands. "Once Sessho-maru found out what had been done to you, to your pup, he went on a rampage, massacring the clan. But it seems he was not as thorough as we had hoped…a few of them escaped and are planning their revenge…"

"…Then…it appears I'll have my turn at them as well…" Fawks muttered, pressing her hand against one of Sachiko's that rested against her cheek.

The female Inu smile, pressing a kiss to Fawks' forehead, "Now you can never doubt how much my son adores you. He nearly started a war and massacred a whole clan for your sake…"

"…I'm sure you know this…but I've never doubted Sessho-maru's love for me, not even for an instant" Fawks replied regaining some of her composure.

"Hmph, that's not cute at all" Sachiko pouted.

Fawks sat in the outside corridor staring idly at the waning moon and watching the stars do their dance.

"I didn't think you would still be awake" Sessho-maru remarked.

"Yuki is asleep now, I just needed some time to think" she sighed.

"How is she doing?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

"Her fever's gone down, she should be as good as new by tomorrow…" Fawks replied, leaning her head against his shoulder. He took her hand in his and she smiled.

"How is Sensuke doing?"

"Quite well, I am impressed with the rate that he is excelling" Sessho-maru conceded.

"You should tell him that, you know he works very hard to please you"

"Hn…Tensei told me you had a conversation with my mother"

Fawks face fell, "Mm…"

"Fawks-chan?"

She looked up at him, her gaze resolute, "…Why didn't you tell me about the assassination attempts?"

Sessho-maru gaze at her with unfathomable eyes, "…Is that what you two talked about…"

"You've been straight with me about everything before, Sessho-maru. Shouldn't I at least know when my life is in danger?!"

"…Fawks-chan…" he sighed.

"Answer me!"

"Because you are my mate, the mother of my pups, is it not my duty to protect you?" he asked, caressing her cheek. Fawks pulled away from him, "I can take care of myself, isn't that one of the reasons why you fell for me?"

Fawks stood, turning away from him, "Before you loved me…at least before you knew you loved me, I was your sword and shield. You swore that wouldn't change if I became your mate. I trusted in that"

"…I apologize if you ever believed I betrayed your trust…" he began.

"I love you, Sessho-maru and I don't doubt that you love me but…sometimes I wish you would think of me more" She sighed, leaving him alone in the outside corridor.


	4. Couples Fight

Tensei glanced tentatively at her mother as the two watched Yukinatsu and the twins play in the garden.

"I…thought you would want to spend some time with father…" she began.

"After what happened with Yuki yesterday, I'd rather keep a close eye on her" Fawks replied.

"I could do that…" Tensei pressed, "Are you two fighting again?"

"We don't fight…" Fawks began.

"You're right, you yell at him and then give him the cold shoulder for about a week. Then you two make amends with very passionate…and very loud…make-up sex"

"Tensei!" Fawks cried.

"It's your own fault! The two of you would keep me up at night with how loud you got, I had to sleep in Sensuke's room all the way on the other side of the castle just to get some relief" she shook her head. "Can't you skip directly to the make-up sex this time?"

"I am not going to discuss my sex life with my twelve-year-old daughter…!" Fawks blushed. Tensei looked at her, "Father loves you a lot you know…"

"…Yes I know…but sometimes that love clouds his judgment…" Fawks sighed. Tensei gave her a confused look.

"You'll understand when you're grown with a loving yet inconsiderate mate of your own and a litter of pups who know a little too much about what goes on in your bedroom" she smiled, ruffling the girl's hair.

"That's not fair…" she pouted.

"Oh! Look Yuki, It's father!" Kanaye began. Tensei and Fawks looked up as Sessho-maru passed through the outside corridor.

"Daddy…!" the small girl giggled.

"Father!" Ginjiro called. Looking up, he waved to them, Fawks turned her head dismissively.

"Really, mother?" Tensei began.

"You'll understand when you're older, as I've said…" she sniffed.

"The little woman giving you trouble again?" Itnasha smirked.

"You know how Fawks would react if she heard you say that" Sessho-maru replied coldly.

"Heh, she'd probably cut off my balls herself…" he chuckled darkly. Sessho-maru smirked to himself.

"…You're picturing her cutting off my balls aren't you…?" Itnasha asked dryly.

"…Why are you here, Itnasha? I don't want your presence poisoning my sons' minds" he frowned.

"Ouch…"

"Get to the point"

"…An unknown tribe have been encroaching on the eastern boarder of your lands. I've been able to hold them back so far but we need one final attack to force them off for good" Itnasha folded his arms.

"…What do you have in mind?"

"This is right up Fawks-chan's alley and I'm sure she'd enjoy getting out of the house once in a while" he grinned.

"Out of the question" Sessho-maru hissed. "Did you honestly expect me to readily agree to you putting the mother of my pups in danger?!"

"…well…it just seems like something she would like…and…after that scare with Yuki…"

"I'll go"

The two males turned to gaze upon the fiery and beautiful female.

"Fawks-chan…" Sessho-maru began.

"And why not, Sessho-maru? Am I not your best weapon against such uprisings?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I refuse to put you in such danger" he replied.

"I don't need your protection!"

"Are…you two gonna start fighting now?" Itnasha began.

"…no…" Fawks sighed, blowing wind through her bangs. Turning to the door, she let it slam behind her.

Sessho-maru sighed.

"Huh…that has to be the first argument you've ever won…" Itnasha whistled.

"You truly are a fool, I've won nothing" Sessho-maru growled.

Sessho-maru glanced up from his meal, eyes scanning idly over the dinner table. Sensuke sat at his right trying to govern the twins into cleaner eating habits. Tensei and Yukinatsu were at his left, the elder feeding the younger who had yet to master chopsticks.

"Tensei"

The girl looked up at her father's mention.

"Where is your mother? Isn't attending to Yukinatsu usually her obligation?" he asked. Tensei looked away awkwardly.

"She…refused to come to dinner…mother seemed very angry about…something…" she coughed. A muscle twitched in his eyebrow, he could feel a headache coming on.

"You and mama have a fight?" Ginjiro asked without batting an eye. Tensei and Sensuke seemed to freeze.

"Gin-chan! You're not supposed to ask things like that! Mama says it's rude!" Kanaye nudged him.

"Buuut! If Father and mama are fighting they should make up soon…" Ginjiro pouted. Sensuke and Tensei snuck their father pointed looks which he promptly ignored. Yukinatsu whimpered tugging on her elder sister's sleeve, begging to be fed.

"…You know, Yuki-chan, sooner or later you're going to have to learn how to feed yourself" Tensei sighed. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

"…Mother is in the training hall…if anyone would like to know…" Tensei said idly.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Sessho-maru raised an eyebrow at his eldest daughter.

"Not at all, father, I just thought the twins or maybe Sen-kun would like to kiss her goodnight before bed" she smiled.

"…Oi!" Sensuke blushed.

Sessho-maru sighed, rising from the table he left the chamber.

"Oi, Ten-chan, who do you think is at fault this time?" Sensuke asked.

"If mother has taught me anything it's that the man is always at fault, no matter what" Tensei sniffed.

"What a lovely mate you'll make someday" he smirked.

"You know it" she winked.

"I take it back, I would never be able to handle a woman as…willful as you and mother…" he chuckled.

"Oi…!"

Fawks gave a sigh, wiping the sweat from her face with a towel. She looked up as Sessho-maru entered the training hall.

"Is there something you wanted, my lord?" she asked coldly.

"…I grow weary of these games of yours…" Sessho-maru sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"I have no idea what you mean…" Fawks sniffed, passing him on her way to the door. Sessho-maru grasped her arm and she glared.

"Isn't this a rather pointless thing to be upset over…?"

Fawks huffed, shrugging him off, "…well you seem to think so…"

"Fawks-chan…" he gave an irritated sigh.

"I know that you love me and I know you only mean well but I'm not a woman who needs to hide behind her mate" she scoffed.

"I understand that…"

"Do you?!" Fawks snapped, turning on him. "Those monsters tried to **kill** me! Our baby almost died because I didn't know a target was on my back!"

Sessho-maru gave her a surprised look, tears clouded her vision so she looked away, "…when we were married, I swore to myself that I would never become a liability to you…I almost lost our child…I could feel her…dying inside of me…I deserve my revenge for that!"

Sessho-maru pulled her into his arms, clutching her to him almost desperately.

"…Sessh-kun…"

"…I was afraid…"

Fawks eyes widened.

"…When I was told what had happened…they said you could bleed to death and our daughter…All I could think about was ripping them apart limb from limb…!" he growled heatedly. Fawks nuzzled her face into his chest, "…I want them, Sessho-maru, when we go after the rest of them, leave the killing to me. I want them to feel the pain that I felt tenfold…"

"You have my word" he swore.

"Now let go of me…I'm all sweaty…" she began, pulling away.

"…Then why don't we take a bath…" he whispered making her shiver.


	5. Then Make Up

Fawks hummed softly as she brushed Yukinatsu's hair, Tensei gave her a guarded look.

"You seem in better spirits today, mother…" she began.

"Do I?"

"You've made up with father, I take it?"

"…we found some common ground, yes…"

"…in the bath house?" Tensei asked casually. The brush slipped from Fawks' hand, clattering to the floor. Yukinatsu jumped, giving her mother a questioning look.

"Tensei!" Fawks cried.

"…I was going to give Yuki-chan and the twins a bath but the maids told us that you and father were in the bath house and had been for several hours…" She replied nonchalantly.

"Mommy and daddy were taking a bath together!" Yukinatsu giggled. Fawks' cheeks reddened.

"But sisser said we couldn't join…" she pouted. "Gin said mama and daddy were playing grown-up games"

"You dragged your brothers and sister into this!" Fawks cried.

"Don't blame me for that! 'Adult Games' was the explanation Sen-kun came up with when Gin and Kana-chan started asking why mommy and daddy would lock themselves up in their study and demand not to be disturbed…" Tensei sniffed.

"…you guys make your father and I sound like terrible parents…"

"You're not terrible parents! You're just terrible in love" Tensei chirped, flouncing to her mother's side. "I can only hope that my future mate and I have a love half as passionate as yours"

"Let's hope not…your father would probably kill him…" Fawks sighed.

"That's why I will only marry a man who can stand up to my father" she sniffed. Fawks gave her a look.

"…sisser's never gonna get married…" Yukinatsu whimpered.

"Oi!"

Fawks chuckled. The door opened and Ginjiro and Kanaye barreled into the room, Sensuke close behind.

"Mama! Yuki-chan!" they chanted. Yuki giggled as they began to wrestle.

"Gently boys…!" Fawks began.

"Father wishes to speak to you…" Sensuke began, carefully untangling the children.

"Alright, you and Tensei make sure these little rough housers don't kill each other"

"Of course mother" Sensuke smiled. "I'm glad you and father are on better terms…"

"…So am I…" Fawks smiled softly.

"You called for me, my lord?" Fawks asked as she entered his study.

"Fawks-sama, it seems you and my cousin made up" Itnasha smiled.

"Itnasha-san?" Fawks began. Sessho-maru stood beside the table covered in a map.

"You said you wanted me to leave the killing for you…"

Fawks stance went rigid, "…you've found them?"

"We've chased the last of the rats to their hole…" Itnasha smiled unpleasantly. Fawks claws extended, her eyes bleeding red.

"…I want them…I want my claws…soaked in their blood…" she snarled. Sessho-maru smiled coldly, pulling her into his embrace, "And so you shall have it, my love. We set out at night fall"

Fawks pulled the blanket up over Yukinatsu asleep in her bed. She gazed at her reverently.

_Flashback…_

"Fawks-sama!"

"You shouldn't be up yet!" The maids fussed.

"…Where is…my baby… I want to see her…"

The women exchanged an anxious look.

"…It's better if you don't, my lady…"

Fawks felt her blood run cold, "…Is she…"

"No…at least not yet…"

"What do you mean?"

"The little ladyship is very weak, it's not very likely that she will live to see her first year…"

"We are making her as comfortable as possible but…it's better if you don't see her. It will be less painful when…" she trailed off. Fawks set her jaw, "…I don't care…"

"Fawks-sama?"

"She isn't going to die…I won't let her…"

"…but…my lady…"

Fawks glared at her, her eyes a deadly crimson, "…I won't let my baby die…"

The woman shrank back, "…Yes…Fawks-sama…"

Fawks panted, suddenly weak.

"My lady, you must calm down…"

"…why…? Why did this happen?! I've never delivered early before…so why…?"

"…These things just happen sometimes. No one knows why and it's nobody's fault…" the woman comforted.

"…She's just a baby…she doesn't deserve to die…" Fawks sobbed.

_…End Flashback._

"You and father are going out tonight?"

Fawks looked up at Tensei.

"…yeah…I'm a bit worried though, this will be the first night I've spent away from Yuki…"

"I'll look after her, you don't have to worry" Tensei smiled. Fawks smiled back, "…You're such a good big sister…"

"I learned from you and Sen-kun"

"That's right, your father and I were worried about how he'd react to a new baby but he took such good care of you…"

Tensei sat beside her, leaning against her mother.

"…It's not just that…after Yuki-chan was born, you made it your sole priority to nurse her back to health. You even shut yourself in your room, refusing to leave her for even a second…"

"…I feel awful for leaving you and your brothers alone, especially when the twins were so young…" Fawks sighed.

"You shouldn't. It was your forced solitude that made us all realize how much you care about us" Tensei smiled. "You love us so much, just the thought of losing one of us was enough to make you drop everything. I know if it were me or my brothers, you would've done the exact same thing"

Fawks gently smoothed out her hair, holding her face in his hands. "You kids are your father and my precious treasures. I could never let anything bad happen to you…"

Tensei smiled basking in the warm glow of her mother's affection.

"…Please be careful, mother…take good care of father"

"Of course"

"My lady…"

The two looked up at the maid who had addressed them, "His lordship requests your presence in his chambers…"

"Thank you" Fawks smiled, she gently kissed her daughter's forehead before following the maid from the room.

"I remember you" Fawks began. The maid look up at her mistress's back.

"You were looked after me when I first got pregnant with Yukinatsu…"

"Oh? You remember me, Fawks-sama?" she beamed.

"Hmm…you gave me that tea to settle my morning sickness…" Fawks smiled back.

"I'm so glad it made you feel better, my lady. My aunt sent me the best herbs…"

"…really? Last time I asked you said it was your grandmother…" Fawks began.

"Well, they live together so…" the maid said quickly.

"…one would have thought they would teach you to lie better…" Fawks grasped the other woman's wrist, slamming her into the wall. The maid looked up into her mistress's condescending glare.

"Now, where did you really get those herbs?" Fawks asked coldly.

"Please, my lady…! I had no idea those herbs would harm you or her little ladyship, I swear…" the girl began to cry.

"Stop your sniveling and tell me!" she snarled.

"Damn! Where the hell is Fawks-san?! She shoulda been here ages ago…" Itnasha growled impatiently. Sessho-maru gazed out over the balcony, his eyes narrowed.

"…Fawks has left the castle"

"Eh? Where the hell is she going? We haven't even told her the location yet…" Itnasha began. Sessho-maru growled low in his throat, his claws glowed green, melting the wood of the guard rail.

Sessho-maru raced through the forest, Itnasha close on his heels.

"Oi! Why are we in such a damn hurry? So what if Fawks-sama gets there before us?" Itnasha asked.

"I smell blood and smoke…" Sessho-maru commented. The two came upon a village bathed in flames.

"Holy crap…Did Fawks-sama do this?"

Sessho-maru said nothing, leading the way into the ruined village. Every now and then they glimpsed a fallen Inuyoukai being devoured by flames. Sessho-maru paused in front of the convent.

"Wait here"

Itnasha nodded. Sessho-maru glanced idly at the bloodstained walls, he found Fawks in the main hall, she knelt before a statue of Buddha, her head bowed. Blood stained her kimono, soaking into her claws.

"…They were hiding out in this village…in this temple…the last of the clan…They were all females…" a strangled laugh escaped her throat. She lifted her head, a dark red slash of their blood marked her cheek. "One would think…they would be sympathetic to the burden of carrying a child…that they would have spared our baby"

"They are demons, they didn't care who they hurt as long as they were able to get to you" Sessho-maru replied.

"…They didn't even ask to be spared…they cursed me with their dying breath…" she sighed.

"…Are you alright? I can smell your blood" He asked, helping her off of the floor.

"One of them got me in the side, it's a minor wound…" she sighed, letting him embrace her. "I just…want to go home…"

Sessho-maru nodded, leading her from the temple.


	6. Nightmare

"Eh?!" Kanaye cried.

"Why can't we go see mama?" Ginjiro demanded.

"Mother was hurt in last night's raid, she's very tired and weak. She needs to spend time alone with father in order to strengthen her youki" Sensuke explained. Yukinatsu whimpered, tears welling in her eyes.

"Look what you did!" Kanaye shouted.

"Stupid big brother! You made Yuki-chan cry!" Ginjiro accused.

"What?! I most certainly did not!" Sensuke began.

Tensei placed a hand on her brother's shoulder. "You know what might help mother to feel better? Some lilies from the garden!"

"We'll go pick some!" Kanaye and Ginjiro shouted in unison dashing outside, Yukinatsu on their heels.

"Oi! Don't make Yuki run so fast!" Sensuke advised.

"You need to be more strict if you're ever going to be a suitable father" Tensei sniffed.

"Oi…!"

Fawks blinked against the harsh light, she sat alone in a cold metal chair in an empty room.

"Are you conscious, Fawkeisha?"

Fawks blinked at the man sitting in the chair opposite her, his face hidden by shadow.

"…Where…?" she murmured.

"Do you mean to say, you are aware of your surroundings at this moment?" the man asked.

"…Who are you? Where is my husband?" she demanded.

"Your family is waiting for you to get well, it is my job to see that you do…"

"What are you talking about?! I wasn't even hurt that badly!" Fawks snapped.

"…still clinging to the delusion, I see. As long as you do that, you shall never be able to leave here…" he sighed, shaking his head.

"What the hell are you talking about?! Where the hell am I?!"

Fawks eyes snapped open with a gasp.

"Fawks-chan?"

She blinked glancing over at her ever vigilant mate, seated at her side, "Are you alright, beloved?"

"…Fine…Just a nightmare…" she groaned sitting up.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm not in pain so I guess I'm okay" she shrugged, gingerly stroking the wound to her left side.

"Splendid, now we can discuss the obvious disregard of not only my orders but your own safety that resulted in your wound" Sessho-maru growled. Fawks blanched, glancing at him from under her eyelashes. He was furious, she could tell, his youki was starting to spike.

Fawks licked her lips, though terrifying for most, his anger had a strangely arousing effect on her.

"…Now is definitely not the time for that" Sessho-maru gave her a disapproving look.

"I can't help it…you've classically conditioned me" she blushed. Sessho-maru raised an eyebrow.

"…I like it rough and you're really violent when you're mad" Fawks purred seductively.

"Do not think that my affection for you is enough to keep you from punishment" he said coldly.

"Then punish me…" she purred, easing herself over his lap. His angry growl, lessened to a sensual purr as she pressed her lips against his. Fawks moaned, wrapping her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss, her tongue twining with his. Her hands slid down his kimono, fumbling with the knot to his obi.

Sessho-maru growled fiercely into her mouth, pushing her down onto the futon. Fawks giggled as he tore open her yukata, devouring her neck.

"Mmm…Sessh-kun…" Fawks moaned wrapping her legs around his waist and grinding against the bulge in his Hakamas. Sessho-maru let loose a feral snarl, reaching between them, he released his monstrous erection from its silk confines.

Fawks gasped as he rubbed the tip of his length along her wet folds.

"…Sessh-kun…! Don't tease me…!"

His lips descended upon hers as he thrusted into her tight wet heat. Fawks whimpered into his mouth, arching against him. Grasping her hips, he proceeded to pound into her with all he had.

"…Ah! AH! …Sessh-kun…! YES!" She cried, her claws digging into his back. Sessho-maru panted, snarling as he lost himself to the feeling of his mate's body.

Tensei and Sensuke stood outside their mother's sick room, silently listening to the sounds of their parents enjoying each other.

"…I guess mother wasn't so weak after all…" Sensuke noted dryly.

"Oh, great! Now I have to take this tray back to the kitchen…" Tensei pouted glaring down at the tray of food in her hands.


	7. Delusion

Staring out of the shoji screen, Fawks watched as Yuinatsu, Ginjiro and Kanaye played together in the garden. A soft smile tugged on her lips, in this moment she was completely content.

"None of it is real, Fawkeisha"

Fawks turned abruptly, the man standing behind her seemed so out of place. He was dressed in a white lab coat, his cold black eyes peered back at her from behind horn-rimmed glasses and his brown hair was slicked back.

"You have to except that…"

"Who the hell are you?! How did you even get in here?!" she shouted. Suddenly her room faded away and she was standing in the middle of a black nothingness.

"You are a prisoner to your delusion. You must deny it if you ever wish to return to reality…"

Fawks sat up straight in bed, sweat pouring from her brow, her breath coming in shallow pants.

"Fawks-chan?"

She blinked, glancing at Sessho-maru lying beside her in bed.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah…just a nightmare…" Fawks sighed, running a hand through her damp tangle of hair.

"Your youki is still weak, beloved, you should rest for several hours more" he said pulling her into his arms. "Our earlier romp didn't help you any…"

"You loved every minute of it…"Fawks sighed in contentment as she cuddled against her mate's strong chest.

Sessho-maru chuckled softly, his breathing soon slowed, as he drifted back to sleep. Still, the dream wasn't far from his mind.

"Are you sure you're well enough to be up, mother?" Tensei asked as she helped Fawks dress Yukinatsu.

"It's not like I could rest much with your father around…"

"Yes…we heard…" Tensei made a face.

"I refuse to acknowledge that…" Fawks sniffed, securing Yuki's obi. "Eh? Where are the twins? Usually they would be bursting down the door to play with Yuki?"

"Father and Sensuke took them out hunting. It's their first time so they were really excited" Tensei smiled.

"That's wonderful, but I'm still worried they might be too young…" Fawks began.

"Sensuke was about their age when father first took him out and so was I" Tensei began.

"Yes and do you not remember the big stink I raised about it? I didn't talk to him for three days" Fawks reminded with a pout.

"As a matter of fact I do, because that particular fight ended in a bought of extraordinarily loud make-up sex…" Tensei noted dryly.

"Tensei!" Fawks cried.

"I'm still very good at shocking you, aren't I mother…" Tensei chuckled. Fawks shook her head. Yukinatsu pouted.

"Eh? What's wrong, Yuki-chan?" Tensei began.

"I think somebody's mad that she didn't get to go along with her daddy and big brothers" Fawks smiled softly, ruffling her silver curls.

"Don't worry, Yuki-chan. I'm sure the boys will be home soon. In the meantime why don't we play together…" Tensei, comforted pulling the small girl into a bear hug. Yuki giggled loudly.

"Be gentle!" Fawks began.

"Of course, mother!" Tensei called as the two flounced from the room. Fawks smiled softly, shaking her head.

"You have to wake up, Fawkeisha!"

Fawks turned, the doctor was standing behind her, his face stern.

"You again…" Fawks growled getting to her feet.

"You can't live in this fantasy you've concocted for yourself!"

"I don't know who you are, or how you got here, but there's no way I'm believing anything you say!" she replied, flexing her claws.

"I really don't want to use force…"

"Try me!" She snarled, flames shooting out of her hands. Her world suddenly tilted and she fell to her knees, "…What?!"

"Don't fight it, Fawkeisha, you know it will only be worse if you do"

"Mama!"

She heard the boys call her and the pattering of their feet down the hall.

_'…no…stay back…!' _she wanted to scream but her mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. The room seemed to be melting, the colors sagging and dripping like a freshly painted canvas left out in the rain.

"…what…?" Fawks managed. The castle faded from sight, in its place stood an opaque room with very with no windows and a desk against the far wall. She was seated on the small bed, the man in the lab coat, sitting at the desk across from her. Glancing up at the door, she glimpse two very large and muscular men dressed in hospital scrubs.

Fawks blinked as if the act alone could erase them from her sight.

"Are you awake now, Fawkeisha?" the doctor asked.

"…Where…?

"You're in the hospital, Fawkeisha, where you have been residing for the past four years"

"…Four…?" Fawks suddenly felt ill, her hand flew to her mouth.

"Do you know how old you are? What year it is?" he asked. Fawks rose to her feet, the act alone making her dizzy, one of the orderlies caught her.

"Easy there, Fawks…" he muttered to her.

"…Why am I here? Where is my husband? My children?" she began.

"You have no children, and you were never married. You're only twenty-years-old, Fawkeisha"

Fawks began to hyperventilate, shaking all over.

"…no…that's not true…that can't be true! I have a husband and five children!" She cried.

"…and you left your life in modern Japan to be with your demon lover in the warring states period of Musashi's domain?" the doctor raised an eyebrow. Fawks looked at him, her eyes wide with horror.

"That was all a delusion, one you concocted to deal with past trauma…"

"You're lying!" Fawks cried, lunging at him but the orderly held her back. "You bastard! What did you do to them! What have you done to my family!"

The other orderly stepped forward and the two tied her down on the bed with leather straps. She struggled, screamed and fought as the doctor removed a syringe from his lab coat, pressing the needle into her arm. The moment he pushed down the plunger, all of her strength seemed to drain right out of her. Darkness closed in around her, pulling her into a cold, dreamless sleep.


	8. Tramatized

Fawks awoke to find herself still in the strange room, tied to the bed.

_'…so it wasn't a dream…'_she noted.

"You okay now, Fawks?"

Glancing towards the door, she saw a man dressed in hospital scrubs. His black hair was cut short drawing attention to his severe eyebrows. Artful tattoos ran up and down his arms.

"…Inu…yasha…?" she began.

"That's right, Fawks-sama, I'm Inu-yasha, a half-dog demon or whatever…" the youth sighed, coming over to loosen her straps. Fawks caught sight of his name tag, Yasuke Inugami.

"Don't fight, Fawks-sama. You're still woozy from the sedative and might hurt yourself…" He said, helping her up.

"…Where am I?" Fawks asked.

"Hiroyama Mental Health Facility. Doctor Naruko mentioned you were conscious again…" Yasuke said helping her to her feet.

"What happened…? How did I end up here…?"

"It would be better if you asked the doctor that, come on your therapy session starts soon" he patted her back. Yasuke led her into an office with tall windows, the doctor she had seen in her dreams was seated behind the desk.

"Good Morning Fawkeisha, it's good to see you up and about" he said affably. Fawks said nothing folding herself into the chair opposite his desk. Yasuke stood at the door, watching them like a hawk.

"I am Doctor Naruko Akatsuka, but you know me better as 'Naraku'" he raised an eyebrow.

"Naraku's dead…" Fawks brooded.

"The evil you saw in me is, in a way, dead. You started to trust me more and more, the departure of your friend Kagome aided that a little" he conceded. Fawks eyes snapped to him.

"Where is Kagome?"

"She was released from this facility several months ago, the only way for your fractured mind to process it was to assume she was dead" Naruko replied. She felt her resolve begin to falter, she rested her head in her hand.

"…what happened to me…how did I end up like this?" her voice was a broken whisper. Naruko rose from his seat at the desk turning towards the window.

"It all started when you were but a girl of twelve, when your innocence was violently stolen from you…"

Fawks' head snapped up, "…What did you just say?!"

"We know all about you being raped, Fawkeisha, there's no need for you to be embarrassed…" he turned back giving her a comforting smile. Fawks looked away, hugging herself.

"…after that horrible event, your mind became unstable, no one knew how much until you suffered a psychotic break when you were sixteen…"

"But what caused it?! Those things don't just happen!" Fawks cut him off. Naruko's eyes became unreadable, "You had sex with a male for the first time since your rape. Though it was consensual, it was still enough to send you over the edge into this delusional state…"

Fawks shuddered, holding herself tighter, could what he was saying be true?

"In your delusional state, you rebuilt several aspects of your childhood. You believed that your mother had died when you were four-years-old, that your father was abusing you…" Naruko went on.

"My mother is alive?" Fawks jolted.

"Yes, as she has been all these years. After shortly after you were born, your father did the respectably thing and married her, flying you, your mother and brother out to live with him in Japan…"

"What about Miyako? What about my sister?!" she asked desperately.

"You never had a sister, Fawkeisha-san. She was part of your delusion. When you were twelve, you and your brother went to visit your aunt, uncle and cousins in Louisiana. At the time your eldest cousin introduced you to her fiancé…"

"…you don't have to finish, I know what happens next…" Fawks hissed already getting queasy.

"No you don't. In your delusional state, you concocted a version of the story in which you are alone in the house with your cousin's fiancé. He lures you upstairs and then proceeds to rape you. You were not alone in that house, Fawkeisha, your brother heard your screams and ran to save you, he pulled Christopher off you then called the police…" Naruko began.

Fawks covered her mouth, she was going to be sick.

"…He never truly forgave himself for allowing such an awful thing to happen to his baby sister…" the doctor shook his head.

"…Gonna…throw-up…" Fawks gasped clutching her stomach. Yasuke rushed forward, pulling her hair back, Naruko lifted the garbage pail into her lap. Fawks proceeded to retch over and over until she could only cough up bile.

All this time she had thought she was alone during the worst moment of her life. She had wished someone had been there to save her, but now knowing that someone had, that her own brother had seen her that way, made her sicker then ever.

"…take her back to her room, that's enough for today…" Naruko remarked as she spat the sour taste from her mouth. Yasuke nodded, lifting her from the chair, she leaned on him heavily as he escorted her back to her room. He lifted her gingerly, with great care into her bed.

"Don't go…" she whimpered clutching at his arm. He glanced at her with pale brown eyes.

"…Please…I don't want to be alone…"

Yasuke nodded again, pulling the blanket up over her, he went to sit in a chair by the door.


	9. Not So Imaginary Lover

"Fawkeisha is aware?" the man asked.

"Yes, director, she was perfectly lucid as of yesterday" Naruko nodded.

"…Does she remember anything?"

"Memory loss is not uncommon with such a long lasting delusion…"

"…I see…" He commented.

"You shouldn't worry so much, she'll remember everything in due time…or…is that what you're so concerned about?"

"I've long since dealt with the fact that she could hate me for doing this to her…" the director replied softly. "I want to see her again…"

"That should be fine" Naruko pushed his glasses back up his nose. "It has been a while since you've seen her…"

"I didn't think it mattered much, she never recognized me…" he shrugged.

"I wouldn't say that, director…" Naruko began. The man glanced at him, "Has she said anything?"

"Even in her delusional state, she still managed to develop a reality in which the two of you are together with…five children if I remember correctly…" Naruko chuckled. A ghost of a smile touched the director's lips.

"And what does she call me in these dreams of hers?"

"That is the one thing that let me know she could be saved if she wanted to. She calls you by your name, sir"

Fawks blinked against the harsh light from the florescent lighting in her room. Her mouth tasted horrible and she had the headache of the century. She groaned, crossing her arms over her eyes, trying to block out some of the light.

"…can I go now?" an irritated voice asked from the door way. Fawks sat up, gazing at Yasuke.

"…what time is it? How long did I sleep…?"

"You slept for a while, Fawks-sama, it's already the next day…" he said already getting up from the chair, "Did you have any nightmares?"

"Nightmares?" Fawks blinked.

"The first few months you were here you had night terrors nearly every night about what that bastard did to you" Yasuke huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"…Oh…" Fawks sighed. She hadn't thought about Christopher in years. He was in jail, being punished for what he did to her and he'd never get out.

"…no I'm fine…" she smiled. Yasuke nodded, the phone on his belt chirped.

"This is Inugami…" he answered. "Yeah, she's awake…"

Fawks looked up at him.

"…huh? You sure that's a good idea? Alright! God!" he snapped hanging up the phone.

"What's going on?" Fawks asked.

"…seems like the director wants to see you. You should clean yourself up…" Yasuke gestured to a door she hadn't noticed before.

"Do most patients here have private bathrooms?" Fawks raised an eyebrow.

"Only the special cases" Yasuke shrugged. "You didn't like being naked around people…"

Fawks nodded in understanding, getting out of bed. He legs were still a bit shaky, Yasuke rushed to her side.

"…I'm fine…" she said shooing him off. "I threw up a lot yesterday and I can't remember the last time I've eaten…"

"…can't be helped, then…" he shrugged.

Fawks bathed and dressed for the day, the only thing in her closet was a pair of lounge pants and a robe that was standard attire for all patients.

"Here" Yasuke offered her a rice ball, "We can't have you passing out from hunger"

"…Thanks…" Fawks said taking it from him. She nibbled on it as he led her down the halls of the hospital. Several other patients were milling about, but they seemed oblivious to them. Yasuke led her to the top floor, to an office at the end of the hall. The face plate read Toshiro Inugami.

"Inugami? You two are related?" Fawks asked.

"Yeah, my holier then thou older brother…" Yasuke snorted. "Go on in, I've got stuff to do. He'll call me when he's done with you…"

"…done with me…" Fawks repeated nervously.

"It'll be fine Fawks-sama! I'll see you later" Yasuke waved as he headed down the hall. Fawks shrugged, knocking on the door.

"Enter…"

Fawks pushed open the door, Toshiro Inugami was standing with his back to her staring out of the window behind his desk.

"…You…called for me…sir…" she coughed. He turned to he turned to her and Fawks felt her heart leap into her throat. His eyes were an even paler shade of brown then his brother's, staring at her from behind a pair glasses, his black hair slicked back and professional.

_'…Sessho-maru…'_she began, but stopped herself.

"Akatsuka-sensei told me you had regained your mental faculties…" he said in the same smooth baritone as her imaginary lover. Fawks felt her face grow hot, she looked away.

"…Yeah…"

"How do you feel?" Toshiro asked coming over to her. He lifted her chin shining a small light into her eyes.

"…Fine…just really confused…I don't remember anything…" Fawks replied staring straight ahead.

"That isn't unusual…" Toshiro replied turning off the pen light but didn't release her.

"…Inugami-sensei?" Fawks began. His eyes swam with emotion and his hand slid up to caress her cheek.

"…how I've missed you…" he sighed, his arm stealing around her waist.

"…do…I know you…?" Fawks began, her body beginning to tingle in a familiar way.

Toshiro leaned in, whispering into her ear, "…when we were together…you would call me by my middle name. It was our little secret…"

"…Sessho-maru…" she gasped, her body on fire. He pulled back, smiling at her, "…My Fawks-chan"

Toshiro's lips descended upon hers in a crushing kiss, Fawks moaned, her fingers tangling in his hair. He lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the couch situated next to the door. Only after he set her down did he hesitate.

"…You want this? You're positive?" He asked. Fawks smiled softly, reaching up to loosen his tie, slowly undoing the buttons of his shirt. Which each button, Toshiro's breathing became more shallow, his arousal pressing against her thigh.

"…Make love to me…Sessh-kun…" she purred. That was the last straw, Toshiro dove into her lips, ripping open her robe. Fawks moaned, her legs wrapping around his waist as he devoured her neck. He pressed his tongue to her stiff right nipple, teasing it before biting down. Fawks gasped, arching against him.

Toshiro's hand slipped down the front of her pants.

"…Sessh-kun…!"

He teased her clit, rubbing it in a slow circular motion. Fawks arched against him as he slipped a finger into her dripping entrance.

"…You're so wet, Fawks-chan…and so wonderfully tight…!" he growled, beginning to grind his erection against her thigh. Fawks whimpered reaching down to stroke the cloth covered bulge. Toshiro sucked in a breath, shuddering under her touch.

"…Enough teasing, Sessho-maru…I want you…" Fawks panted, her body already overloading with pleasure. Toshiro slipped off her pants and panties, fiddling with the fastenings to his own trousers.

Fawks gasped as she felt the head of his erection press against her sopping nether lips.

"…I love you…" he breathed, entering her body in a single jarring thrust. Fawks threw her head back in a breathy cry. He started out slow, nibbling the soft column of her throat.

"…Am I hurting you?" he asked.

"…More…!" Fawks begged.


	10. Our Life Together

Fawks opened her eyes, Toshiro sat beside her on the couch.

"…Sessho-maru…?" she asked.

"…I love you, Fawkeisha…" he sighed.

"…I know, I love you too" she smiled. Toshiro ran a hand through his hair.

"…I grew up down the block from you. After my parents divorced, I chose to live with my mother. Your brother and I were fast friends, you were still a little girl and always wanted to tag along with us. You were a bright happy child and, even though Shavonn complained, I quite enjoyed having you near me…"

Toshiro's face darkened, "Everything changed after that bastard put his hands on you. You stopped smiling, stopped singing, it was like you were dead inside. Your brother tried his hardest to protect you, to bring you back to the light but nothing worked. I watched over you while we went to school together…somewhere along the way I…fell in love with you"

Fawks looked at him.

"I tried to stop what I was feeling but I couldn't. You were haunting my every thought, my every dream was of you. I confessed my feelings the day I graduated from high school, so you'd never have to see me again. It was only after I told you how I felt…that you smiled, your first real smile years and you said you loved me, too. It was with your help that I became the director of this hospital.

"My father wanted me run his company after I finished high school but I always had a love for medicine. You encouraged me to stand up to him, helped me study for the entrance exam, you barely left my side" he smiled softly.

_'…I really did all that for him?'_Fawks felt her face grow hot.

"…you helped me so much…and in return I ruined your life!" Toshiro dropped his face into his hand.

"…What are you talking about?" Fawks asked.

"…for your sixteenth birthday…you said the only thing you wanted was…to sleep with me…" he sighed. Fawks' eyes went wide.

"I wanted to resist you but…the desire was too strong. It was that one night of passion that pushed you to a psychotic break…"

Fawks sat up, nuzzling her head into his back, "…it's not your fault, I don't blame you"

"How can you not?"

"Because I wanted you as much as you wanted me, if not more, how can I hate you for giving me what I wanted" she smiled.

Some of the tension seem to drain out of his shoulders, "…That's one of the things I love about you. No matter what happens, you always try to comfort the people you care about"

He turned, taking her face in his hands, he gently kissed her, she kissed him back eagerly, wishing with all of her might that she could remember him.

Fawks was despondent when Yasuke came to take her back to her room.

"Oi, you're not gonna have another psychotic break, are you?"

"…No…at least I hope not…" she sighed. Yasuke nodded in approval.

"So that's why you're keeping such a close eye on me, because your brother runs this hospital…" Fawks asked.

"That's one reason" Yasuke shrugged.

"What's the other?" Fawks raised an eyebrow at him. Yasuke blushed a bit, scratching his head, "…Because we're friends, we went to high school together and you introduced me to my wife…"

Fawks blinked, "You're wife?"

"Yeah…" Yasuke fished a picture out of the pocket of his scrubs, handing it to her. "That's you and my wife Midori"

Fawks' eyes bulged, "Isn't this…Kagome?"

"That's what you would call her every time she came to visit. Kagome was the patient who put this new delusion in your head, and she looks nothing like Midori…!" Yasuke sniffed, crossing his arms.

Fawks began to tremble, "…How…could I?"

"Kagome brain washed you, but not thoroughly enough…that and she had a crush on me…" Yasuke scoffed.

"…oh god…" Fawks sighed.

"Don't worry about it! Once we dosed her up right, she felt really guilty for everything she did" Yasuke shrugged.

"…yeah, I'll just bet she did…" Fawks grumped.

"Oi, go take a shower, you have a group therapy session with Naruko in an hour…" he said, nudging her in the shoulder.

"…yeah, yeah…" she rolled her eyes.


	11. False Life

Fawks tried not to fidget in her seat as she glanced around at the group of people she was now seated with. Most of them seemed normal enough, none of them overly insane, just a little fractured, like her.

Their stories were interesting, some of them had been raped like her, others had just been severely abused.

"Miyako-chan, you're next" Dr. Naruko called. Fawks jumped, she glanced over at the girl sitting beside her. She was rocking slightly, her brown hair hung in damp tendrils around her face.

"…My…my sister…she died when she was 12. She…was my dad's illegitimate child and…when her mom died, she was sent to live with us. When…when mom found out dad had…an affair…she left us…" Miyako began. Fawks suddenly felt queasy, she huddled in her chair.

"…dad blamed her for…everything. He…he…beat her…horribly…" hot tears ran down Miyako's face, she hugged herself, rocking harder. "…I…I tried to…to… stop him…to protect her…that's why I would…pick her up from school and…walk her home…"

Miyako began to sob, lowering her head. "…but…one day…I…I decided to…to hang out with…my…friends instead…When I got home…he…dad had…he had…!"

Fawks couldn't take it anymore, she abruptly rose from her seat, sending the chair clattering noisily to the floor. She ran from the room, bumping into Yasuke.

"Whoa, just where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"…I don't feel so well…please take me back to my room…"Fawks gasped, "…I think I'm gonna puke…"

"…Okay, okay, just hold it until we get there…" He comforted.

"Fawkeisha-san?" Naruko called. Yasuke waved him off, escorting her back to her room. Fawks spent the rest of the day bent over the toilet, throwing up what was left in her stomach.

"I take it therapy didn't go well…" Yasuke said, holding back her hair.

"…my life is a lie…" she gasped, tears running down her face. "…everything…I believed to be true is…is…

She began to sob.

"Don't do this to yourself…!" Yasuke's tone was fierce. "You're not alone, you have friends who care about you, you have my brother who loves you. We're not going anywhere, you can depend on us"

Fawks leaned her forehead against the porcelain, "…I know…"

Yasuke nodded, moments later Naruko burst through the door.

"Are you alright, Fawkeisha-san?"

"…yeah…just peachy…" Fawks spat the sour taste from her mouth.

"…I'm sorry to put so much on you all at once…"

"…How did I even know about her? How could I have…" Fawks gasped, retching into the toilet.

"…you two went to high school together. Miyako has been here much longer then you" He replied gently. Fawks glanced at him.

"She suffered her psychotic break after she returned home from shopping with her friends to find her father had killed her younger sister in a fit of rage. She blamed herself for not being there to protect her…" Naruko sighed. "She was girl tormented by an event that wasn't her fault. So what if she had walked her sister home and watched her the entire day, she couldn't remain vigilant forever, she couldn't protect her sister for the rest of her life. Sooner or later her father would have done something to her, and if Miyako had gotten in the way, he might have hurt her too. That is the reason why you were so drawn to her life as your delusion"

"What do you mean?" Fawks asked.

"Both of you felt guilty for events that were beyond your physical control. Several times in therapy you've stated that you feel responsible for your own rape" Naruko went on. Fawks' eyes went wide.

"At the trial, Christopher announced to the court that you 'seduced' him, that you were some kind of demonic succubus that had cast her spell upon him to make him want a little girl. That you had ruined his life with the want of you…"

"…stop…!" Fawks gasped, tears running down her face.

"…Sensei…" Yasuke began.

"…His words instilled doubt in you and no matter how many times you were told that it wasn't your fault, that he was a pervert, you couldn't help but feel that you did in fact do something that warranted his attack. A glance, a gesture, something that made him think you wanted him to touch you…"

"…please stop…!" Fawks begged.

"Sensei, that's enough!" Yasuke snapped.

"No it's not!" Naruko snapped back, Yasuke raised a dangerous eyebrow.

"She has to acknowledge this as her reality, she must know so that she can heal…" Naruko said in a softer voice.

"…I don't want to…I don't want to remember…" Fawks began to shake.

"That's enough for today, Sensei…" Yasuke said seriously.

Naruko looked like he was about to say more but kept his mouth shut instead, nodding. Yasuke watched him as he left the room, lifting Fawks to her feet.

"C'mon, Fawks-sama, let's get you cleaned up…" he sighed.


	12. Prisoner

_"Enough of this, Toshiro! You've made your point!"_

"And what point is that, father?" Toshiro sighed irritably into the phone.

_"You loved this girl, you feel bad for fracturing her mind but there's only so much you can do! Don't throw your life away for her…! You have a fiancée who is just waiting for you to come to your senses"_

"…I doubt Kagura would be so patient, she's probably out comforting herself with a few wayward Cabana boys" Toshiro scoffed, sitting back in his chair.

_"…she's put that behind her…" _

"…oh I'm sure she has…!"

_"Kagura wants to make your marriage work!"_

"Father, she cheated on me before we were even married, I think that speaks volumes about what our married life would be like…"Toshiro sighed rubbing his eyes.

_"It's better then the alternative! You have to face the fact that Fawkeisha is never coming back!"_

Toshiro clenched his teeth.

"She's already back!" he snapped, "She was perfectly lucid as of a few days ago! We are merely keeping her under observation…"

_"Is that what you want your life to be, Toshiro? Keeping your wife under constant supervision, being afraid to even leave her alone with your children?"_

"My life will be what I say it will be! You do not rule me, father!" With that he slammed down the phone, rubbing his eyes in irritation.

"…He's right you know…"

Toshiro cast an irritated glance at his brother standing in the doorway.

"You can't waste your life waiting for her to come to her senses…"

"As I've said to father, my life is my life. I will do what I wish with it" he replied in a warning tone. Yasuke sighed.

"We haven't seen eye to eye on many things but I understand how you feel. Fawks is one of my best friends, I want her better more then anything. There have been times when she's been lucid before…"

"…but not for this long!" Toshiro said heatedly.

"I'm trying to be realistic, Toshiro. I don't want to see that broken look on your face when she loses herself again" Yasuke said, leaving his brother alone with his thoughts.

"Tell me about your children…"

Fawks blinked up at Naruko, slightly shocked, "…I…thought you said I didn't have any children…"

"You don't, I'm talking about the ones in your delusion. There were five the last time we talked…" Naruko went on, writing something down in a notepad. Fawks shrugged self-consciously, "…That hasn't changed…I still have five children…"

"So, talk about them, how old are they? Are they boys or girls?"

Fawks felt her heart clench, "…We have…three boys and two girls. Sensuke is the eldest, he's sixteen…"

"Tell me about him"

"…He's…just like his father" Fawks shrugged with a forlorn smile. "He works very hard to please him. Tensei is our eldest daughter, she's twelve. She's very sweet…though she does know a little too much about what me and Sessho-maru do in the bed room…" Fawks chuckled. Naruko smiled softly, urging her to continue.

"…next are the twins, Ginjiro and Kanaye, they're both seven. Little balls of energy…and Yukinatsu…" Fawks' throat began to close, tears welling in her eyes, "…She's…only two years old…"

"Why are you crying?" Naruko asked.

"…because I'm never gonna see them again!" she wept.

"Those children don't have to remain a delusion, you know. The chairman loves you dearly and wants to marry you…"

"What does it matter? I'm never getting out of here…" Fawks wept.

Naruko sat back in his chair, his expression unreadable, "You are not a prisoner here, Fawkeisha-san. You can leave anytime you wish…"

"…What do you mean?" she hiccupped.

"The only person holding you prisoner is you"

After therapy Fawks started back to her room, more confused and distraught then before she had gone.

"It most certainly has been a long time, I hardly recognized you…"

It took her a minute to realize the woman was speaking to her, Fawks turned. There was nothing extraordinary about her, except she was wearing too much make-up to give her the illusion of beauty. Her long black hair hung in waves down her back and she wore an unpleasant smile.

"Do you know me?" Fawks asked cautiously.

"You don't remember me? Then allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Kagura, I'm Toshiro-kun's fiancée" she smiled shaking the other girl's hand.

_'So that's what this is about…'_Fawks blew out a sigh. "So what do you want with me?"

"I came by to see Toshiro-kun and I just thought I check in on you. It seems you're perfectly lucid…at the moment…" she said pointedly.

Fawks rolled her eyes, "On top of wanting Sessh-kun to take over the family business, his father got him a pretty little fiancée too, eh?"

Kagura smiled condescendingly.

"…he must not like you too much see as he was fucking me just yesterday" Fawks shrugged, quickly losing interest. Kagura went white as a sheet.

"…Why…should I believe a word you say? That's…probably just one of your delusions" she sniffed.

"You think so? Then…how did I get these? I surely couldn't have done them to myself…" Fawks said, pulling down the collar of her robe to reveal red marks dotting the skin of her neck and chest.

Something inside Kagura snapped, she let loose a howl of rage, launching herself at the younger girl. The two tumbled to the floor, Fawks easily kept the woman's hands from around her neck, laughing at the feeble effort.

"What the hell?!" Yasuke cried as he pulled Kagura off of Fawks. Two other orderlies helped her to her feet.

"You bitch! How dare you! I'll see you rot away in here for what you've done!" Kagura screamed.

"I look forward to your next visit, Kagura-chan!" Fawks called as the two orderlies escorted her back to her room.


	13. Grudge

"Have you lost what little sense you had?!" Yasuke said in a harsh whisper. He stood over Kagura who sat at the break room table. She glared at him.

"…well you must have to be starting fights with mental patients"

"Tell me something, Yasuke-kun. Is that girl…having an affair with an orderly or maybe another patient or doctor?"

Yasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Just now…she told me Toshiro-kun had sex with her…but why would he do such a thing?" she ranted softly. Yasuke crossed his arms over his chest, "Why not? You know he loved her once, he still does"

Kagura lowered her head, "…so it is true…"

"That's right, and Toshiro won't be too happy to know you got in a fight with her let alone made threats…"

"I don't care what Toshiro would like, since he obviously doesn't care about me…!" Kagura began, straightening her back.

"You're right, he doesn't"

Kagura glanced up at him in disbelief, Yasuke bent over her, leaning in close.

"Since you don't seem to understand I'm gonna explain it to you; Toshiro doesn't love you, he never loved you. He could have love you once, but you threw that all away just so you could sleep around"

Kagura looked away as if ashamed, "I know that…I know I made some mistakes but I'm trying to set things right. I really want to be with Toshiro-kun!"

"What you want to 'be with' is Toshiro's money and the status you'll get from marrying into our family" Yasuke snapped. Kagura stared at him as if she had been shocked into silence, Yasuke drew back, glaring at her with all of his contempt.

"If you really want to 'set things right' you'd officially cancel the engagement no matter how much my old man begs and pleads and leave us all alone" with that he turned, leaving her to think on her sins.

"At least this place isn't all boring" Fawks laughed, throwing herself down on the bed.

"Well I'm glad you had fun…" Yasuke said sarcastically.

"What's that bitch's problem anyway? It's not like she's married to him yet…" Fawks shrugged, kicking up her feet.

"Feh, all that little slut cares about is money…" he scoffed. "Crazy or not, she still thinks you're in the way…"

"Aren't I?" Fawks smirked, "Toshiro-san and I did have sex after all…"

"…I wouldn't know about that…" Yasuke sniffed, looking away.

"Fawkeisha-san!" Naruko cried bursting into the room.

"Eh?" Fawks began.

"I heard what happened, are you alright?!" he asked, lifting her face into his hand.

"I'm fine, she didn't even manage to get a shot off" Fawks shrugged.

"…that's not what I meant" Naruko sighed shaking his head.

"It's not like I've never gotten into a fight with another girl before…" Fawks shrugged. Yasuke and Naruko exchanged looks.

"What?" Fawks raised an eyebrow.

"Actually…" Yasuke began.

"I…didn't come across anything in your history that said you had a penchant for violence…" Naruko added. Fawks blinked, "…Oh…really?"

"Really" Yasuke nodded.

"Huh…well if there's nothing else, I'm taking a nap" Fawks sighed.

"Okay, dinner is in a few hours, I'll come get you then" Yasuke nodded. Fawks turned over, as the two left the room, Yasuke shutting the door behind them.

_'…so that's what's going on' _Fawks noted.


	14. Awakening

Fawks sat in group therapy with a bored look on her face.

"Well, I think we've hit some major breakthroughs today…" Naruko smiled. Fawks snorted. He glanced at her.

"Is something the matter, Fawkeisha?"

"Nope, I was just wondering when we could end this ludicrous farce…" she glared.

"…excuse me?" Naruko blinked.

"Look I'm done playing patient. I have a family to get back to"

"And…you will…once you're cured…"Naruko began.

"I said enough!" Fawks snarled, everyone around them abruptly disappeared leaving just her and Naruko in a darkened room. The doctor glanced around nervously.

"Did you really think this charade could keep me fooled for long?" she raised an eyebrow. "Though I have to admit, delving into my deepest, darkest past traumas was a nice touch…"

"…how long have you known?" Naruko smiled unpleasantly.

"Shortly after you had 'Kagura' attack me. I mean that was something straight out of a soap opera!" Fawks laughed. Naruko snarled.

"You were hoping that by keeping me in a constant state of shock and self-pity you could stop me from noticing that everything was an illusion. But you didn't take one thing into account" Fawks said, rising from her seat.

"…and what was that?" Naruko asked.

"I am the mate of a Taiyoukai. Sessho-maru never would have chosen me if I were weak enough to fall for such a thing…"

"You ruined our clan!" Naruko hissed shooting out of his chair.

"You ruined yourselves! I had no say in who Sessho-maru chose as a mate…" Fawks sighed in irritation.

"…You seduced him!"

"Oi, did not"

Naruko's form began to shift, his eyes went red, fangs and claws extending as his body elongated.

"You evil bitch!" the dog creature snarled, lunging at her. With a narrow of her gaze, the dog burst into flames. Naruko fell to the ground with a horrible high pitched howl, writhing in agony.

"…Curse you…!"

"I'm sick of feeling sorry for your clan. You lost my sympathy the day your poison almost killed my unborn child" Fawks snarled.

Fawks eyes shot open with a gasp.

"Fawks-chan?!" Sessho-maru leaned over her calling her name.

"…Ses…sho…maru…"She sighed. He let loose a relieved sigh, reaching out to brush aside her damp hair.

"…How…long was I…?" Fawks sat up, the world spinning before her eyes.

"Five days…" Sessho-maru replied, catching her as she lost her balance. "You should eat, koi"

"What…happened to me…?" Fawks sighed, settling into his protective embrace.

"You were poisoned…" he said in a strained voice.

"Poisoned…?"

"The wound you received when you attacked the village, it seems the female used a poisoned blade" Sessho-maru replied letting her lean against him.

"I…I don't understand…poison usually doesn't have any effect on me…" Fawks began.

"Neither do I, Itnasha is looking into it…" Sessho-maru sighed, burying his nose in her hair. "…I thought you would never open your eyes again…"

"…I'm glad you were so wrong…" she smiled, snuggling comfortably into his arms. "Where are the children?"

"Wandering aimlessly, worrying about their mother, I'm surprised they aren't here yet"

"Give them a while…" Fawks smiled. "She was quite clever, trying to convince me I was insane and none of this is real…"

"How were you able to break the trance?"

"A life without you…without our beautiful children is not worth living. If I ever were to wake up and find this all but a pleasant dream, that I was left with nothing but the horrors of my broken past, I would end my life right there and then…" she sighed. Sessho-maru's arms tightened around her.

"Then let us both pray, you never wake up…" he whispered.

"Mother!" she heard Tensei call as thunderous sound of many feet drew ever closer.

"Yes, let's hope I dwell within this happiness forever" Fawks smiled as the door shot open.


End file.
